pixelsandpinholes: May 2009

Some Courtesy Please

My dad once said when people regularly run red lights, we know anarchy is upon us and our social structure has weakened. Just as breaking societal rules weaken our social structure similarly, I suggest that the decrease of personal accountability and the disregard of considerate behavior are threatening the quality and evolution of our interpersonal relationships. What happened to accountability, considerate behavior, honest interactions, and tact?

The Me-Generation and Generation Me argument
Yes, Generation X was told very early on that we were special individuals; we could do anything we want and succeed. These well intended sentiments lead us to our existential demise as we realize we can’t do anything we want and we are not all that special. This realization is followed by the never ending chase to prove that we are as wonderful as our parents once told us and any evidence to the contrary is quickly dismissed, avoided, or frantically hidden to protect our fragile egos. Yes, I can see how this leads to a generation of people who are threatened by personal accountability and will lie to others to protect their own fragile ego, HOWEVER, it is time to put on those grown-up panties; we are adults now and it is our responsibility to work on our own issues, to contribute to society, to grow balls and take accountability and evolve morally, instead of nurturing irresponsible behavior. For those of you whose narcissistic tendencies prevent you from personal accountability, here is a little clue: people will like you and think better of you if you take accountability for your errors.

Life too fast for considerate behavior?
Has our world of c u l8er’s, LOLs, and emoticons taken the place of etiquette, manners, and overall consideration of others? Is there no more room for please and thank you’s while we Twitter, Facebook, text, email, and IM each other? Why has informality been confused with inconsideration? These technologies should make being considerate easier. Say you hit traffic, you can text or call someone to let them know you are running late. But instead, more people are using these modes of communication to procrastinate and even prevent quality communication. I can only say that it is more telling what questions people do not answer in a reply email than the questions they actually answer. Think about it - avoidances of questions would be awkward and obvious over the phone, but over email they can simply be overlooked. So, we are given these great gifts of convenient communication only to communicate less and with more ambiguity, and less consideration. It’s time to communicate effectively and to consider the feelings of the recipient when you don’t respond and to reflect on whether you are using technology to avoid life’s sometimes difficult conversations. Technology does not eliminate the general rule to treat others as you would like to be treated.

Life is, at least in part, about relationships and interpersonal interactions for we learn our most core lessons through relationship. Because of this our actions –whether technological or in person- should be an attempt to relate, connect, and discover instead of avoid, avert, and feed the ego.

More on the me-generation and conversation:
http://www.violentacres.com/archives/173/how-the-me-generation-ruined-modern-conversation